Ego

It’s a problem.

So what to do about it?

I have a huge ego, or put another way, an ego of humongous proportions. I can’t get rid of it because what I’m doing in this world requires it. You see your ego is directly related to the circumference of your sphere of influence or “world”. Ego = Geo in direct proportion to one another. Imagine how big your ego would necessarily have to be to “contain the All”.

There is one unavoidable fact and feat to overcome it if you truly want to change the world. I don’t mean new tricks in an old game, I’m talking about completely changing the game itself. You have to contain it ALL first. They say possession is nine tenths of the law and this is the very root of that expression. While this may sound ridiculously impossible, it’s what we’re all trying to do here whether we realize it or not.

The size of my ego doesn’t make sense to anyone around me because they are unaware of my achievements in those areas. To be fair to them the external clues are so subtle only a few people in my life have ever “noticed” something profoundly different about me beneath the riot act of my external personality. To be fair to me, where do I begin to try and explain myself when perhaps a handful of people in the world would even begin to understand what I’m talking about?

Big egos are allowed to some extent when the world can see you doing something that warrants it. Top scientists, rock stars, movie stars, people who are experts in their field, “stars” of any sort that shine among us, all have a big ego and it’s more or less tolerated if not entirely accepted because of what they do for the world. What do you do when those achievements are all in the dark, hidden from public view. Hell, they’re supposed to be hidden from me, but there’s always a little that seeps thru the veil when you’re bouncing back and forth between realities no matter how much you try to plug the leaks.

I know what I’ve achieved and I know I’m the first to achieve it. In this world nobody even knows about it, but on the other side everybody knows because all achievements are known and the achievement is monumental. I also know it’s a bit irritating sometimes for people around me because I can act like I’m king shit with no apparent reason to do so. It is completely unintended, upon deeper investigation it’s something like an afterglow of the work my higher self is doing on the other side of the veil.

I think what’s going on is this… the work I’m doing and what it has achieved on the other side do warrant the size of my ego, but for some reason I have displaced the resulting ego or negative effects of it into the physical plane. I’m guessing this is to keep it from interfering with or negatively impacting the creative side of my work.

I can’t get rid of my ego or I’ll never have a world of my own to call home. In a way I’ve done the next best thing in using the veil to my advantage and displacing it to where it will do the least harm and most good. It seems I’ve done that with a lot of things, it may be why I’m a little hesitant to remove the veil, I’m still using it to some advantage. Let’s face it, my physical world is an out of control three ring circus going out of business soon anyway, better to mess that up than the fantastic new world I’m trying to create.

It’s a problem I know, but what do you do? The fact is I’m going to accidentally offend people often enough anyway – no matter what I do or how hard I try not to. I might as well get something productive out of it. When I weigh the options it always comes down to having to crack a few eggs to make an omelette. I want to change the world more than I want to win a popularity contest or avoid the very conflict that makes it possible. It’s not that I put that above friendship, the whole reason for what I’m doing is true companionship.

There are no “real” friends in a last man standing competition which is the current game scenario. The very rules of the game require us to make all friends enemies in order to win the race. The rules are the same for every game here, there is only one way to win and there can only be one winner and if you’re not that one winner, you’re a loser (at that particular game). We play many games in this world, but the one we’re ALL playing is the Human Race… “there can only be One”. Imagine how big your ego would be if you won that race, a game few of us even realize is the main event in the Colosseum of Life.