Independence Day 2012

The flagship of the revolutionary fleet, believe it or not named the “Enterprise” will be testing one of her primary weapons systems for the first time today. We will be firing 3 banks of 7 hyper-dimensional phase cannons in a 21 gun salute. This is to celebrate a changing of the guard, to honor the old guard and herald the new, and of course to test her guns.

The test targets are trans-dimensional and are obviously classified information. Since the primary phase cannons draw power directly from the main warp core, there is a small chance of a recoil effect if any calculations are off and they aren’t harmonically in perfect tune with one another. This recoil effect if it happens at all can range from barely noticeable distortions in the fabric of reality to full blown rips and tears, but we’re pretty sure we’ve got it right.

There should be no visible effects in the physical plane unless we messed up pretty bad, but anyone sensitive enough will “feel” the effects. These are massive weapons systems focusing enormous amounts of power, they’ll leave an energy signature of the event and it’s a major event when guns of this caliber are fired. They’re gonna leave a smoke ring on the event horizon. This will likely show up as a distinct impression that something very powerful has taken place… somewhere… somehow. You KNOW something profound has occurred on a very deep and broad level, you’re just not sure what the hell it was yet.

The hyper-dimensional phase cannons are 1 of 3 primary weapons systems onboard the Enterprise and the only one scheduled for testing today.

What is a phase cannon? A big ass gun that fires a precisely targeted beam of “instructions” capable of phase shifting pretty much anything into anything else. It can phase matter into energy and vice versa, but it can also phase matter into another form of matter or energy into another form of energy. Simply put, it is the real technology behind turning a prince into a frog and a frog back into a prince… literally. Even the test firing is going to have a subtle yet profound effect on Human DNA.

Get your motor runnin’
Head out on the highway
Lookin’ for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin’ with the wind
And the feelin’ that I’m under
Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

Like a true nature’s child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never want to die

Happy Independence Day 🙂