The scarab is a symbol I recognize all too well. It is the lonely, lowly, shitty view of what’s going on in this world.

This world is the ball I must keep rolling thru the entire processional cycle. Thru reincarnation, everyone from every world comes here, takes what they want, and leaves their shit behind.

I roll all that shit into a ball, which is this world. The plan is, that if you can keep the ball rolling for the entire round, you will end up with everything by collecting all the shit everyone left behind.

That’s why my name is John, and why the name John is equated with a toilet. This world has been for a very long time, the toilet of the universe, but all of that has worked to my advantage.

The trick is, you have to be able to place all that and use it to create something whole. The Holy Spirit helps you there, we’ll go into that later. For now the point I want to make is this is a very lonely, lowly, and shitty view of what is actually happening.

There is another way to look at it…

You could also view this from the opposite angle. A universe full of worlds, each sending as gifts the very finest seed their world can produce. Those seeds can be used to re-grow their entire world from nothing but itself and fertile ground.

A giant ball of shit of every kind makes for very fertile soil. Plant the seeds, add a LOT of water and some tender loving care and you have the Garden of Eden. If you plant the seeds in the right place at the right time, the whole garden should spring to life in amorous array.

Here I am going thru life all pissed off because everyone is filling my world with crap. I’m completely buried in it trying to keep up with figuring out how to use it all to keep the ball rolling. I kept the ball rolling, but holy shit what a lot of work.

Now that I’m beginning to remember who I am, who my people are, what I am to them and what they are to me, it’s starting to make a lot more sense. I didn’t realize the shit people were leaving in my world were gifts of the greatest value, because my heart had been broken.

My heart was broken because I got separated from my people. I had to leave them behind in search of a new world. They thought I abandoned them, I thought they abandoned me. In my world, that is not supposed to happen… ever.

I had to fall back on those people with complete trust, a trust that had been shattered by the most traumatic experience in human history, the breaking of the human heart. They didn’t or couldn’t catch me, my weight may have been more than they could bear.

I wouldn’t say I lost faith, but it was barely there at times and it became a love/hate relationship, mostly hate and mistrust. The love appeared to be gone between us.

I guess they wouldn’t be my people if they didn’t let me fall, because that fall wasn’t a fall at all, but a breaking away in search of a better world. If they had not let me go, the old world would have burst trying to contain me.

The point came recently where I had to test my faith.. well, all faith really. I had to let go and fall back on them not even knowing wtf I was doing. I had no idea what to do so I went by pure instinct, closed my eyes and fell back into their embrace… hopefully.

I’m still testing to make sure it’s really them and that they can hold me, but it looks to be my own people and they not only caught me, they were very happy to see me because they are very much in need of a new home.

Home is where the Heart is my friends 🙂