I have come to realize the major obstacle to understanding is overstanding
To understand is to stand under another, looking up to them for their greatest strengths
To overstand is to stand over another looking down at them for their worst weaknesses
We all do both
What we all ought to do is make a stand
We stand for us, with one another and for one another
One Nation, under God, with Liberty and Justice for All
My body wanders about this world
My mind wonders about this world
I wander this world seeking its wonders
I wonder if I’ll always be a Wanderer
Forever traveling home
Is it any wonder we wander?
Is not the proper question.
The question is… where did everything else come from?
What “is” is us and we can be anything we choose to be.
Everything else is in the details.
I have it in me in every way, shape, and form.
I’m always trying to figure out why we do the nonsensical things people do. Being autistic I have done more seemingly inappropriate things than anyone I can personally think of. I say seemingly because without knowing why I’m doing things, I’m lacking enough information to really say one way or the other… and so are the people judging my behavior as inappropriate. I don’t know why and you don’t either.
I’ve spent my life trying to answer one single question… Why? It makes me about the most annoying person there is at times. I was that kid adults wanted to beat to death just to get me to stop asking questions, especially “why”. I was considered anti-social even back in Sunday school. Absolutely none of what they were preaching made any sense to me so I did what any good student would do and asked questions… lots of questions. The answers were always non-answers “because the bible says so” or similar blow off. The more nonsense I got in return the more provocative and demanding I’d become in trying to make sense of it all. I was disruptive because I questioned things, and they can’t have that type of behavior going on in a bible study class.
So eventually I did stop asking people why, not because of peer pressure but because people don’t actually know why we do the things we do. We think we know sometimes, but we can never truly figure it out because we can’t see “why”. I’m talking about real cause and effect here, not action-reaction.
The what, when, where, and to some extent how are all right in front of us, the one that isn’t is “why?”. The first four describe what something is, when it is, where it is, and how it got there. Why is intangible, we can’t see it in an objective sense so we literally can’t see it at all. At least not in our objective world.
I stopped asking the question directly, but I didn’t stop trying to figure it out. Life became a laboratory to experiment in and search for answers. I’m low budget so I use what’s around me, which are usually the people I interact with on a day to day basis and things in nature that anyone can observe. One thing I’ve noticed is that “nature” is our nature, we’re seeing our own internal nature externalized when we look at anything in “nature”.
If you were to ask ANY of my friends they’ll tell you what a giant pain in the ass I can be. If you asked them why they still put up with me they ‘d probably be scratching their heads wondering themselves at times. I can’t say why, but I can say that most of my friends want to know why. Maybe not as fervently as I do, I’m like facing the inquisitor at times, but you also find out a lot about yourself in facing the inquisition.
I’m not proud of it, I get no joy from pressing people to their limit because I feel every bit of their frustration, I’m just innately driven to know them and how they tick. Consciously they may want to throw a slushy in my face, but subconsciously they want to understand as much as I do. We can cover the Earth with our knowledge of who, what, where, and how, these are all things. If we want to understand ANY of those things, we must ask… Why?
I think I’ve figured out why people stop asking why at a very early age and how I managed to escape the same fate. I’m only half here in what we call the waking or objective world, the other half of me is in the subjective world. I never completely wake up and I never completely fall asleep. Kids are like this, and so are autistic people. Normal adults “grow out of it”. Why is not a question for the objective world because the answer just isn’t here. Why is subjective… meaning, and there is no meaning in the objective world.
This is where I hope to actually be of some use to our Human society. We have acquired sufficient knowledge to “fix” any problem mankind has ever created. The reason nothing has been fixed yet is a lack of understanding. We don’t understand why we created the problems in the first place. We do know that it was us who created us and we know when, where, and how. What we don’t understand is why? Why would perfect beings engineer imperfect beings to replace themselves?
Why would we in our divine state of grace with perfect knowledge AND perfect understanding let ourselves decay into ruin to become what we are now? I know why, and the reason is as divinely perfect as we were when we made the decision. My problem now is that trying to explain any of it to a “normal adult” is a bit like them trying to explain “appropriate behavior” to a sugared up two year old.
The why is especially important when we have come to the point where we can literally re-engineer ourselves. What if in our lack of understanding we were to go a fixin’ what ain’t broke? What if autism is my key to understanding? What if autism is OUR key to understanding? Am I still a broken and unproductive member of society or, am I society’s contribution to a new level of human understanding? What would happen if we were to genetically “weed out” autism before we achieved that understanding?
Children understand but they can’t explain it to the adults making the rules. Adults know, but can’t understand unless they don’t grow up. Autistic kids turn into adults who never grow up. Adults who refuse to grow up may not be genetic mistakes at all, but the missing bridges between knowledge and understanding. None of this is revelatory, what is going to come as a huge surprise is just how much autistic people are doing for humanity that has gone completely unrecognized by modern society.
In the old days you could visit any tribal village and there would be a bunch of people engaged in tribal duties and one weird guy off on his own trip, smoking weed or eating mushrooms so he can sit there and trance out all day. Today we’d call that guy worthless because we can’t see him doing anything worthwhile to contribute to the welfare of the tribe. The villagers would have a good laugh at the expense of modern ignorance “who doesn’t recognize a shaman or know what he does?” 🙂
Image a Nation
Of people
Within you
Yearning to know their Creator
Imagine their surprise
Upon discovering you created them
Imagine your surprise
Upon discovering they created you
🙂
It’s true, people never do change – only persons do. Persons are the acts or objects, people are the actors or subjects. One people… many persons.
We are, have always been, and always will be the one universal constant. Worlds can coerce us, beat us, rob us, rape us and even kill us a thousand times over and it will never change who we really are, only define us.
We are defined by what we stand for in the world. When this world coerces you with social norms can you stand against them? When it beats you down will you get back up again to stand for what you believe in? When it robs you of everything you hold dear, will you still stand for what you hold dear? When it rapes you of all innocence will you yet stand for the innocent? When it kills you a thousand times over will you stand for what you believe in time and time again?
We will… because people never change 🙂
It’s the two sides to Life, the negative and positive, dreams and reality, night and day, the moon and the sun, lying prone or standing erect.
On this side we call it daytime. By this side I mean the objective world where individuality exists. You can see yourself as an individual among other individuals… One in All. The upside is individuality and objectivity, being able to see yourself from outside yourself… quite the Jedi mind trick in itself if you think about it. The downside is we only see the world from the pin prick point of view our individual position affords us… ignorance. Ignorance combined with individual free will is the universal destructive mechanism. It is where we destroy what we once were, any creation in the objective world is merely to aid in that destructive process.
The other side we call night. It’s where we dream up who we are and what we aspire to be and do with our Life. Night comes before day, night brings the day, what we do in our dreams while we’re asleep literally causes everything that happens during our “waking” hours. Instead of the sun in the sky we see the stars in the heavens. Instead of a single voice we hear all the voices within us. Nightside we’re All in One and we see things from that perspective. Instead of seeing a world around you, you’re seeing the world within you. When you see it all within your scope of vision, everything makes sense… the subjective view. There is no objective view, only subjective meaning. It’s all Self either way.
This is where we are creating our new Self, or more appropriately, our new image of Self. It’s an image because our true nature never changes, what does change is our image of our Self. A new image is created exactly where you’d expect it to be created, in our imagination.
What I hate and will always hate about this world is how much it stifles the imagination. I don’t mean people, I hate the destructive part of the regenerative process and separation from Self. It ends up being what we do to ourselves and in turn each other from the way we see things, but that’s because we’re completely unaware of the “other side of life” for the most part. The only part of our dreams we can remember are the weird bits and pieces of nonsensical scenery we experience during the reality shift from subjective to objective world.
It is the separation between these two worlds causing all the strain. If we knew what we were up to on the other side of life we’d have a lot better understanding of why we’re going thru what we put ourselves thru in our day to day lives. Here all we know is our individual dreams which are mostly framed by what we believe to be possible or “realistic”. Said reality is based on circumstantial limitations caused by free will. In a world where you are the only subject everything within you supports you. In a world of many subjects circumstance dictates everything be against you to create individuality and objectivity.
The subjects are US, the actual Peoples of the Universe. You can’t see us in an objective sense because we are composed entirely of meaning. We are who we are and will always be, but we can BE anything we can imagine. Life isn’t a static thing, imagine a People who can be and have been everything there is to be and how long we’ve been up to our game and you’ll understand why.
The reason we go to sleep at night is to dream of what we can become. The reason we wake up the next morning is because there is more work to be done to make our dreams a reality. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven… eventually.
Dream of US. Remember who WE are and we will show you who YOU are and what we can become together 🙂
Remember Mikey?
“Let’s get Mikey, he won’t eat it, he hates everything”
Now do you remember Mikey?
It speaks of some new cereal called Life that’s supposed to be good for you. A new serial or series of events that are supposed to be good for you called Life. Mikey is this cute little kid with a frown on his face that supposedly hates everything the world has to offer. When he’s offered Life itself he likes it and his frown turns to a smile. He hates everything in this world, but he loves Life.
It’s my story in a 30 second TV commercial. Honestly, I just could never get into any of the occupations this world has to offer, or much of anything else everyone around me seemed to be “into” so much. It wasn’t for lack of trying, I just wasn’t into any of it for some inexplicable reason. I’ve literally hated this world for the better part of my stay here and it has hated me right back, yet I have stayed. The reason I stayed is because I was offered a new Life… Resurrection.
There is no Life in this world, but it IS the initiatory gauntlet thru which we must pass to win the approval of our new tribe. What you are willing to go thru for your own people determines the membership and mass of your tribe. The greater the mass of your tribe the greater your “pull” in universal matters. The weight of your decisions affects politics at a universal level.
If you want to control the universe you must contain the entire mass. Mass is us… the people that inhabit the universe. In order to do this you must win their approval by election, or passing thru the gauntlet of initiations according to the customs of the tribe you have chosen. This means that containing all tribes in one or a universal tribe is going to be about the hardest thing any individual can possibly attempt. A gauntlet means you have to make it from one end to the other, fighting your own prospective tribe the whole way. Your whole time here is going to be a fight for your very Life… not because you like to fight against your tribe, but because you love Life.
IF, and only if you make it thru the gauntlet, your tribe will accept and support you. At the same time they are testing your will, you are testing theirs. Do they have what it takes to contain you without restricting your full expression of Self? If they can’t, they’re not your tribe.
If they accept you and you accept them, it will be out of mutual love of one for the other. In running any gauntlet you and your tribe have been thru hell together. This is where both Love and Life originate in Humanity. Love is the glue that binds the Universal Brotherhood of Life and it is only produced by the natural means of going thru hell together and making it out alive. Making it out alive means with a whole new tribe, for the death we suffer from now is having been separated from our former universal tribe. Death is the separation between you and your own people.
One thing you gain from your tribe is their secrets, their knowledge and understanding of how Life works. I cannot even begin to expound how much I’ve learned since reconnecting with my own people thru shamanic practices. They even taught me what being a shaman or priest really means and how to perform those duties. Duty is replaced with Love when they show you just how much you mean to them. Not only in functional terms of how indispensable your service to the whole is, but just how much you mean to them for having the faith to stick it out with them the whole way thru the worst hell imaginable.
When armed with knowledge the real service to your tribe is understanding, which they will help you with. You must choose what is right for your tribe out of love for the whole tribe, which not only includes you, but literally IS you. The choice I’m talking about is whether to reveal or re-veil the knowledge you have been given. This is where your shamanic service comes into play, it allows you to be moved by your tribe, and thus move them according to the will of the whole tribe.
Is revealing said knowledge going to help or harm? If it is going to help then it gets revealed, if it’s going to cause more harm than good, it gets re-veiled in a new mystery. At some point there is a sweet spot between what to reveal and what to re-veil. I’m finding out this is done thru the Arts, and while I’ve still got a long way to go to be truly skilled at it, my chosen art form is clearly Storytelling. I have apparently tasked myself with figuring out what we’re all up to here and telling it to the very same people that ran me thru a death gauntlet with terminal intent.
This involves both a revealing and a re-veiling. Figuring it out reveals it, putting it into a story people can understand re-veils it in a language my whole tribe can understand. This means a new world because what had lost all meaning now has meaning everyone can comprehend in their own way. The veil is still there, but we can now see thru it to the meaning behind it. Life has no reason to live without mystery. It is the very thing we live for, to look for new life approaching on the horizon, to be pleasantly surprised by what’s behind every corner, to search for the secret treasure hidden in the plain and ordinary. We live for adventure, and adventure lives for us.
I have come to figure out that what I hate is death, what I love is Life. I live for the mystery… “my story”. My story is about what we have been thru together, and how we all fell in love thru the most unlikely of circumstances. My story is about a people that have created a world that supports each and every one of us in pursuing our passionate love for Life, because Life is US. If we aren’t passionate about we’re doing, there is no love… if there is no love there is no Life.
I’m a man of mystery, full of mystery within and without because I love a great story. I also love chasing a mystery that could change human history. Isn’t that why we’re all here, chasing the future with the past trying to figure out why both keep running away?
Thank god Life is a circle, if they run far enough away from each other eventually they’ll meet again… after enough time has passed to heal even the deepest wounds of the Human heart.
This is for anyone engaged in the Work, it’s a running list of practical things that have kept me from going completely bonkers while I’m going ballistic in my quest for understanding.
It’s the Devil’s Bargain and we’re all caught up in it. We enter this world under contract with Santa. Do everything He says and at the End of Days he delivers the Christ Mass Presence. This is the end of our daze as ignorant man because with Christ Mass Presence comes the end of confusion.
So was there ever a historical Santa?
It’s the same question we ask about Jesus but somehow it puts it into proper comical perspective when we ask the same question about Santa, who mythically speaking would be the non existent Father of the non existent Son… Satan.
Once God or the Father bears his Son, he becomes the setting sun and his boy becomes the rising sun. In Egyptian myth this would be represented by Osiris, Set, and Horus. Set refers to the setting Son, Satan refers to a retiring God. Same difference.
Santa is always represented (at least up until our present age of incorrect political correctness) by an old white guy with a beard. In almost all cultural myth including that of Native American tribes, God was represented by an old white guy with a beard. Santa is immortal, there is never mention of him being born or dying, he’s just this old white dude with a beard that shows up once a year without fail… forever.
His promise is to deliver the Christ Mass Presence to all according to his personal records of who’s been naughty and/or nice, which appears to be up to his own personal judgement on who has fulfilled some agreed upon list of obligations, terms, and conditions to be met to receive said promise. In other words, it’s according to a spiritual contract or covenant between a God or Host and his People.
He circumscribes the world in a single night in a sleigh drawn by reindeer, beginning and ending at the North Pole. It’s the polar circumference because just flying around and around yourself accomplishes nothing, the objective is to cover the entire scale of creation from one end of the spectrum to the other. It’s also suggesting that what we’re supposed to be doing here can be done in a single incarnation, and in fact must be. Hundreds of incarnations only gives us practice at ascension and reincarnation, it is not cumulative experience toward resurrection. Resurrection requires that we “re-member” and we cannot when dismembered by incarnation.
I think it’s also important to note here that the sleigh is drawn, not pushed. This is indicative of a bunch of things going on in the world right now. The stags can’t be pushed by the driver anymore, they have to be drawn by a light capable of guiding them thru the storm of confusion. The driver doesn’t even know where to go, he only knows his charts and what his obscured senses tell him. It’s a bit scary but we need to let our heart lead us, because our brains have been scrambled into uncharted territory and simply don’t know what course to take to get home. Home is where the heart is, only the heart knows the Way.
It’s a northern mythos because it’s seasonally based and we’re currently in the cold dead of winter or Iron Age… collectively speaking. He delivers the presents to all individuals in their own home entering thru an open hearth and placing them near to the hearth. He delivers the Presence to ALL individuals, thru the Heart, according to the measure of what’s in each man’s heart. What is in each man’s heart is what he himself has placed there according and in direct proportion to the amount of effort he is willing to put into it.
Work is effort, if it didn’t cost you dearly it wasn’t Work. Work is sacrifice and what is sacrificed here is play time. Remember, we’re cosmic children at heart who love to play, work is a most unnatural concept to us and something we have to force upon ourselves thru unnatural ways and means.
The stags represent the wild, untamed individuals with no wife, family, or tribe to “domesticate” them. Those pure of heart are represented by Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Rudolph is essentially the Son, the Heart of Him which when pure gives him the instinct and intuitive guidance to deliver the Presence thru the blizzard of confusion on the Eve of the Christ Mass. His brain and senses can do him no good, they are confused, he has to rely on pure instinct and what is in his heart to do. Our sense of smell is analogous to instinct, represented by his nose, it’s red because red is the color of a bleeding heart.
This instinct depends on what the Son(s) of God are able to accomplish on his behalf. In order to resurrect himself, at least one (and there can only be one) of his sons has to do what he did to become a God or Universal Host. He has to contain All within Individual Self, meaning what his Father contains, plus one… himself. The Son must do one better than his Father to become a new universal being, the Student must best his Master, who is unequivocally and unarguably the very best there’s ever been in the history of Humanity.
You will never, ever, EVER do this without the help of the One who did it before you. The very reason any God would let a Son cause his own Fall is because he lives on by the very nature of what the Son has to do to defeat him. The only way the student becomes the master is with the master’s teaching and guidance and his own undying determination in his quest for mastery. The only way for a retiring god to be reborn is thru the Son being better than he was. A more perfect Union.
In the beginning Rudolph has a pretty tough go of it, his heart is so pure that his nose glows in the dark. This upsets the other stags because he’s different, not just different but different in a way nobody really understands, except Santa. He’s not very good at reindeer games because he’s ill equipped to compete with the other reindeer. He’s younger, smaller, a bit frail and is as confused as the other reindeer as to why he’s so “different”. He’s a dork with no readily apparent purpose within his own tribe, so his own tribe rejects him.
As a reject, he learns to play his own games within himself. His game is to find his tribe, whether that’s the one that rejected him or a new one doesn’t really matter. Nothing goes well, everything seems to be a stumbling block confusing him more and more as time goes on. This is because he’s listening to his inner voice instead of the other reindeer, who only jeer and sneer half the time and the other half talk about reindeer games which he isn’t allowed to play. His nose keeps getting brighter and brighter embarrassing him everywhere he goes so he tries to cover it up and look like a normal stag but it doesn’t work. What he doesn’t know is that he’s going thru what it takes to produce humility, to build character, to learn how to feel what he knows and know what he feels… Heart
Along comes Santa, who is about to miss his deliveries and thus break a promise because there’s a storm brewing that even he with all his his mighty knowledge and navigational skills can’t negotiate safely. He needs instinct and Rudolph has it because he’s pure heart, pure ‘cannot ever fail if you let it guide you’ instinct. Santa puts Rudolph “before” or out in front of his best stags to lead the Way to delivering the Christ Mass Presence and the Day is saved.
Everyone gets their Presence, but Rudolph gets the grand prize when he is reunited with his own tribe, a tribe that accepts everyone based on what is in their heart. A universal tribe that supports individual uniqueness instead of exploiting individual weakness.
I Live for the Day… Merry Christ Mass to All 🙂